On Changing the World
I’ve been watching The Umbrella Academy on Netflix. In yesterday’s episode, one character, Diego, told his brother Luther that we all change the world, regardless of whether we want to.
A few months back, before the COVID-19 pandemic, I was at a bar with some friends. An out-of-town coworker of one of my friends asked my name, and when she didn’t roll the “R" the way it’s done in Spanish, I replied by saying, “that’s not how you pronounce it, it is RRRRRocio". The arrogant contempt underneath my spanish “R” was palpable. A few minutes later, I overheard her response when someone from town asked her opinion about the town, “it’s alright”, she said, “I think the people here are vain and lack substance". I could see the offense in the other person’s face.
I ruminated a lot about the incident that night, and by the time I got home, I was so consumed by anger that I barely paid attention to my even greater amount of guilt. Where did this anger come from? Why had I behaved that way? I retraced my steps that day, the way quality assurance professionals do to find the root cause of a problem. Then I remembered earlier in the day I had read in social media a comment about immigrants which had upset me and made me feel small. And the guilt? It came from knowing that, in turn, I had been unkind to someone who was just trying to make conversation at a bar. The empathetic nurse in me kicked in, and I pictured in my head what the rest of the night, next day and week would be like for my friend’s coworker, and for the person whom she attacked after I had attacked her. By looking at the way I was feeling, it didn’t look pleasant for them either.
The thing is, Diego is right. Whether we know it or want it, we all change the world. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. That night I had changed it for the worse. The person who ill-commented on immigrants, the girl I directed my anger to, the guy she offended after that, and I, are all tiny snowflakes in the big rolling snowball that keeps getting bigger. Because, without a doubt, every single thing we do affects someone else, and this is a fact of life we cannot change. What we can change is what we do and which snowball we jump on.
In these pandemic times is easier than ever to feel powerless; the virus has taken control of our lives in a matter of months. Or has it? One of our greatest gifts as human beings is choice. Most of us can always choose (and therefore control) what we do next. And we tell ourselves all kinds of stories to justify our ill behavior. Certainly, some extreme events and experiences can make it nearly impossible for some people to change paths. However, regardless of the circumstances, an alternative is almost always available.
Many people don’t have the right background, the money, the time, the charisma, or the influencer sauce, but all of us have choices. And usually, we don’t have to make a move worthy of the Nobel Prize to make a positive impact. In the states, many of us have a wide range of little choices we can make every second which will snowball. From the moment we open our eyes, we have choices about the clothes we wear, the jewelry on our neck, the lotion we put on our face, the food we eat, the water we let run down the drain, and the conversations we put out there. Will our children have a better world tomorrow? Let's look back: How many natural resources were used in the making of those clothes, and how many people could have benefited from those resources? How many people died before that diamond in our necklace made it to the store? How many bunnies died before that lotion made it to our bathrooms? How did those cows and chickens live and die, before making it to our plates? And how are these animals different from the dog on our lap? How many people died of heart attacks after eating those cows and chickens? (And while we are at it, if so many different peoples are dying from high cholesterol, are we all really that different from each other?). How many children will go thirsty tonight while our water runs down the drain? Will a teenager decide to end his/her life tomorrow because of our hateful comments today? How are those children different from ours? Don’t be afraid to search for the answers to these questions. Together with the ugly, you will also find an array of choices you can make right now to change things.
The truth is, whether we purposely try to stay away, or think we have no way to jump on the impact wagon, our choices and consecutive actions always have an impact. Of course, we all have to get dressed, try to look our best, eat, and go on with our lives. But we can do it in ways that can yield benefits for others, too. Doing the right thing is rarely easy, especially when the workings of our society often push us to take shortcuts, leading us to trade things like wellness and compassion for convenience and the limelight. But putting ourselves in others’ shoes, committing to do right by others, doing some research on the choices we aren’t quite acquainted with, and thinking for a few extra seconds before taking the next step will go a long way.
So next time you feel powerless, out of control, or small, think again. There is no bigger source of power than the action you are about to take.
In an ideal world, the girl I offended that night would read this and accept that I am truly sorry. The person whose comment offended me would read this and know that I forgive them. Our world is not ideal, but if only one person reading this gets the point, it’ll be enough for now. I know that the minute that happens, I will have changed the world for the better.
